February 19, 2008

When it comes to joining two people in matrimony, Ruben Escandon Jr. is a hopeless romantic.

For Escandon, an ordained minister, the ceremony should be personal, intimate and meaningful, even if it happens to be in a park, in someone's backyard or even at the base of an international bridge.

"I take this very seriously. I do this for the love of what I'm doing, for the love of the reaction that it creates," the 42-year-old said. "To be able to participate in people's lives so deeply is something very special for me."

Last week, Escandon officiated the marriage of Carmen Martinez, 27, and Victor Gallardo, 33, at the Bridge of the Americas. Even when they were surrounded by 18-wheelers, chain-link fences and hundreds of vehicles making their way into the U.S., Escandon managed to make their ceremony a romantic one.

"Look at her hands," he told the groom. "These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times. These are the hands that will care for you when you're sick and console you when you're grieving. These are the hands that will love you and cherish you through the years for a lifetime of happiness. These are the hands that will support you as she encourages you to chase down your dreams and together, as a team, everything you wish for can be realized."

Meanwhile, many drivers waiting on the bridge yelled "Felicidades!" ("Congratulations!") to the couple as they exchanged vows.

Escandon became ordained through an online ministry in 2005 with Universal Life Church, mostly as a favor to some friends who couldn't find the right judge to marry them. But then another couple, also friends of Escandon, asked him to marry them as well. Before long, other people started calling.

Today, Escandon said the marriage business has become a full-time job for him and he is even planning to open his own chapel for couples who want to get married, but don't have a venue, he said.

To date, he estimates he's married approximately 100 couples.

Escandon said he's filling a void in the wedding industry because so many couples want to get married but come across a variety of obstacles.

According to the Web site www.aweddingministers.com, an average of 2.4 million weddings are performed in the United States every year. Of those, about 80 percent of ceremonies are in a church or a synagogue.

But some people can't get married in their place of worship because they don't meet all the requirements, Escandon said. Some, such as soldiers about to be deployed, don't have time to plan a wedding and need to be married quickly. Others are getting married for the second time and want to include their children in the marriage ceremony.

Many, he said, choose to forgo the religious wedding altogether but want something a little more intimate than a five-minute civil ceremony offered at the County Courthouse, he said.

And Escandon knows that first-hand. As a former courthouse employee, Escandon saw many people go to the courthouse to get married -- some of the couples in wedding dresses and tuxedos. But more often than not, they left a little disappointed, he said.

"These people wanted lasting memories, because it was something serious for them. But the environment was cold and it wasn't what they were expecting," he said.

That image of what he calls the "five-minute ceremony" has always stayed with him and is what motivates him to meet with couples prior to their wedding day to learn more about each of them and what kind of ceremony they would like.

"I try to make their ceremony as memorable for them as possible," he said.

Escandon has had many jobs in his lifetime. He is a former police officer for the University of Texas at El Paso and Southern Pacific Railroad, a former investigator and businessman. He's also the spokesman for the Mount Cristo Rey monument.

But it's his current job as a minister that he said is the most rewarding.

"This is my accidental calling," he said.

Escandon, who has been married for 18 years, couldn't get married in his own church because the woman he married was divorced -- which is not allowed in the Catholic Church unless the divorced person gets an annulment.

"That was a big blow to us, especially when we had to tell our mothers," Escandon said. He and his wife instead were married by a campus chaplain at UTEP.

When El Pasoan Aime Rodriguez was looking to marry her fiancé, Jared Clement, a friend highly recommended Escandon for the ceremony.

She's Catholic, he's Baptist and the two needed to be married quickly because he's in the Army and is getting ready to be moved to another base, she said. The two were married Dec. 22.

"I have such nice memories of my wedding ceremony. He really customized the ceremony just for us," she said. "He's even stayed in touch. He's called to make sure we're OK and to ask how the marriage is going."

Loretta and David Ruiz were married Jan. 26 and the two didn't know what they wanted in their ceremony. After meeting with Escandon, the couple knew he was the right person to marry them, Loretta Ruiz said.

"He presented us with ideas we liked. We both have children from a previous marriage and they all got to participate in the ceremony with us. His son and my daughters were all given candles and, together, we all lit the unity candle. It was very special," Ruiz said.

Whether in a church, Las Vegas or a courthouse, couples need someone to marry them.

Escandon said he's booked for weddings through December.

On a good month, he'll perform eight to 10 weddings a week (usually in the summer months).

But in slower months, such as January and February, he'll perform about two or three in one week.

Depending on which kind of ceremony the couples choose, Escandon charges $75 to $450 for his services. The more elaborate the ceremony, the more expensive, he said.

Escandon said his business has grown because of word-of-mouth, but he also advertises through a number of Internet wedding sites that list wedding ministers.

He recently launched a Web site, www.elpasoweddings.net.

Last week, Escandon began serious talks with a building owner to lease a space on Interstate 10 near Downtown. Escandon would like to customize the building as a place couples can go to exchange their vows.

"I want to offer a location other than the courthouse and a place that can offer a few more memories," he said. "When I tell people I come to them for the wedding, many of them tell me they don't have a venue, so I suggest places. This place would be another alternative for people."

Escandon envisions a place with an arch, columns and aisle for the bride to walk down. He already has a name: From This Moment Wedding Chapel.

He also wants to install Web cameras that would offer live streaming video through the Internet for families who can't attend their loved ones' wedding, he said.

"That will come in handy, especially for all of the Fort Bliss soldiers who have family members that can't come down. This way, they can watch the ceremony live," he said.

Escandon expects the chapel to be open and fully operational by mid-March.

Maribel Villalva may be reached at mvillalva@elpasotimes.com; 546-6129.

NewsChannel 9 report on November 11, 2011 Weddings